a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck
You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger.
I can’t believe I’m even more beautiful than I think I am this is incredible where’s my modeling contract
i got accused of stealing a pair of shoes once and then got sent to this camp where i had to dig holes to build character as my punishment and while i was there i ran away in search for my friend who also ran away and broke my family’s curse
"Today there is not a man nor woman in here that shall stand alone. Not today. Today we face the monsters that are at our door, and bring the fight to them. Today, we are canceling the apocalypse!"
i wonder how many people i’m in the “i’d be down if you asked” zone with
please someone reassure my this is just fuckin w people right.
this is bullshit what the fuck
Wait y’alls cups are really that small? holy fuck
why the fuck anyone needs 1.3L of coke in one sitting is beyond me but anyway
We all like to talk about that “Running like Naruto" phase that all dorky weaboo kids go trough, but what we don not talk enough about is the later “Sitting and eating like L" phase that all dorky weaboo teenagers go trough
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.